Belfast-based couple to star in multi-cultural wedding programme: ‘Eoghan said an Indian wedding sounds more fun’

“We met online; we were both in London. I had just finished my master’s and was working [there],” says Ayushi (29), who is a software developer originally from central India.

“It was Covent Garden. We first went for drinks in a bar somewhere in central London and then to a Spanish restaurant.

“[After meeting] we definitely were ready for a second date, even though we didn’t tell each other straight away.”

The couple fell in love and began to talk about spending the rest of their lives together.

“We’ve never really got engaged specifically,” says Eoghan (29), who is a PhD student of politics from Co Fermanagh and is currently a teaching assistant at Queen’s University Belfast.

“We just decided to get married.”

Ayushi continues: “I feel it’s important to have conversations about these things before it’s, like, a total surprise: ‘You are getting married to me.’ I think it’s nicer to have some conversations about it.

“So we were just having a lot of conversations and we decided one day.”

Eoghan adds: “It ended up being quite short notice in the end. From actually fully deciding to the wedding day, it was about four months.”

The happy couple decided to tie the knot with a three-day Hindu wedding celebration in Donegal, which they planned over a four-month period.

“We were talking about it and we said: ‘OK, let’s do it the Indian way,’” Ayushi explains.

“We were doing it in Ireland and Eoghan said an Indian wedding sounds more fun.

“Because most people attending would be Irish as well — because it’s hard for my extended family to get a visa and it was short notice — we thought it’d be a nice thing that our friends and family would experience an Indian wedding in Ireland.

“So we decided to do it the Indian way and it was over the course of three days. We did the henna on the first day.

“It was basically just me, Eoghan, my mum, Eoghan’s mum and my sister. We all got the henna and it took an entire day.

“The second day [was] haldi, which is like a turmeric ceremony. It’s a ceremony where we do a little prayer and stuff, and then people apply a turmeric paste to the bride and groom.

“And then the third day was our main wedding day, with the priest.”

Getting into the spirit of the occasion, close family and friends wore colourful traditional Indian dress.

For all of the guests on Eoghan’s side, the Hindu wedding experience, held at Donegal Manor, was an entirely new one.

“It was the first time for everyone, including me, so that was different. They enjoyed it,” Eoghan says.

“It was obviously completely unlike anything any of them had ever been to; nobody knew what was happening at any point. It was just sort of ‘Go with it’.

“We were directing people: ‘This is the point you sit down.’ Nobody really knew what to do, but it all went quite well and everyone seemed to enjoy it.”

Ayushi continues: “Everyone seemed eager to understand and they were participating in it. I’m sure they were really confused as to what was going on and what would be coming next.”

Prior to the wedding, RTE had contacted the couple’s Dublin-based henna artist to enquire if she knew of anybody who would be a good fit for A Ring And A Prayer, a programme that celebrates multi-cultural couples who are on the road to marriage.

The six-part series explores what happens when diverse traditions, values and faiths become entwined with love and romance.

With an attitude of ‘Why not?’ the couple agreed to participate in the programme; plus, they felt it would be a nice thing to look back on in years to come.

Ayushi says: “I feel people should know that marrying someone who’s not from here is not so uncommon or different.

“At the end of the day, we’re all people having the same challenges and doing the same things in life.”

Reflecting on the challenge of marrying someone who is from a completely different culture, Ayushi says: “I think it’s a lot of small things, but nothing major, because, first of all, both of us are not religious, which helps a lot.

“But in terms of differences we have, I would say slightly different communication styles, because Indians just express themselves a different way.

“English is my second language, so when I’m trying to explain myself, sometimes the things I say come across as weird to Eoghan.

“I think in terms of expressing ourselves in different situations, I think we express ourselves differently, because it’s not the default in my culture the way Eoghan would react to something or vice versa.

“Sometimes we have to learn each other’s way. It’s a product of where you’re from sometimes, the way you react to things.”

The couple say a bonus of a person from Northern Ireland marrying someone from India is additional holidays to celebrate.

Ayushi continues: “We learn from each other and we end up celebrating all of our holidays.

“So, before Diwali, we have a party each year. We try to do as much from each of our cultures as possible.”

Despite cultural differences, the newlyweds are united by a shared outlook on life, Ayushi says: “I would definitely say a lot of our values and a lot of our priorities in life are very similar. A lot of the things that we deem important are very similar.

“I think that kind of helps a lot when we’re both from different places — you know, that this person has the same beliefs or the same priorities in life.”

​A Ring and a Prayer will air on RTÉ One on December 8 at 8.30pm