I quit my decade-old media job last June and entered a new phase of life marked by marriage, thirties and a precarious career gap. I planned to catch up on my sleep and the accusing stack of unread books on my shelf. I would practise more yoga and perfect my pizza dough recipe. Eventually, I would emerge from this chrysalis, upskilled and moisturised, ready to rejoin the world of the working.
While it sounds great in theory to enter your post-employment self-care era, there’s a reason hermits live in caves far from society. This dawned on me in November, when I received an invitation to the sixth Diwali party of the month. I was still recovering from the previous one: I’d spent two hours in chockablock traffic to reach the venue, the poker cards hadn’t fallen in my favour, the sangria was lethal and the snacks deep-fried.
Distinctly the worse for wear, I slapped on industrial-strength undereye concealer and a smile for the night ahead. After all, I didn’t have to wake up early to work anymore so why fight the social pressure? As a sober-ish introvert married to a chronic party animal, I’m happy to stay home while he hits the bars. The festive season was a chance to make it up to all those friends who complain they never see me out on the weekends.
By Christmas, this logic had propelled me through weddings, birthdays and parties, each one leaving me a little more worn out. The punishing nature of the social scene isn’t just a product of my imagination. Alcohol sales went through the roof last festive season, with reports from Tamil Nadu to Delhi breaking records. This past shaadi season has seen a whopping 3.5 million couples pass through the mandap.
Eisha A Chopra, an actor and screenwriter from Delhi, doesn’t think the city’s social scene ever took a pause. “At first I was going to weddings, then second weddings after the divorce. Then anniversaries, baby showers, first birthdays—people are getting older, but their behaviour isn’t changing,” she observes.
For Nidhi Vakharia, a Mumbai-based artist who describes herself as an ambivert, it’s not just about the number of parties but the nature of them: loud, late-night affairs fuelled by alcohol, where not partaking gets you labelled a party pooper. As Vydika Rao, the Hyderabad-based creative director and founder of Oon Studio, says, “If you don’t drink or you want to call it a night, people feel personally offended.”
