Cosmo Real Bride: Susie and Avik had two weddings to honour both of their cultures

Avik and I met in secondary school. We were in different social circles so at first, we weren’t really friends, we just knew of each other. All it took was one real conversation to change things and the rest, as they say, is history. We’ve been together since we were 17 years old.

We got engaged on Christmas Day in 2020. Despite originally planning a post-proposal celebration with my entire family, then-Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s last-minute announcement he was ‘cancelling’ Christmas meant it was just the two of us and my dad, who we’d bubbled up with.

Avik persuaded me to go out for an early morning walk to catch the sunrise. In hindsight, it should have rung alarm bells – he is neither an early riser nor a morning walker. We were strolling along the river in Hampton Court when I turned around to see Avik down on one knee, holding out my engagement ring: a round-cut diamond with a twist setting on a platinum band. He’d picked it out with his parents in secret, weeks earlier. I am still amazed at how much of a surprise it was.

Susie’s engagement ring

When it came to wedding planning, we always knew we wanted to embrace both of the cultures that we are part of. Avik’s family in India is very large and many of his elders would not have been able to travel abroad, so we decided to have our formal and official wedding in the UK in July before holding a second celebration in India later in the year. If you’re getting married and you have the opportunity to have two celebrations – why not? Everyone always says the day goes by so quickly. This gave us a chance to stretch out the celebrations.

Our wedding in the UK was a very traditional British ceremony. We had a 1pm service in my family church that my siblings and I were all christened in, followed by a reception at Hampton Court House just around the corner. My wedding dress was a simple short-sleeve design with a lace bodice and open back. Avik wore a tailcoat morning suit. It was one of the best days of our lives, so far!

Five short months later, we flew over to India ready for part two of the celebrations. Our Indian wedding consisted of four main events – Mehendi, Sangeet, Gaye Holud and the Reception – and spanned two full days with multiple outfit changes and a guestlist of around 400 people. A modest affair compared to some Indian weddings that can last up to a week and have over 1,000 guests.

First up was the Mehendi, a prelude to the wedding where henna is applied on the hands and feet of the bride as well as female relatives and close friends. It’s a way to wish the bride good health and prosperity as she makes her journey into marriage.

The Sangeet followed, with the men joining for an evening of dancing, food and drinks. It’s tradition for the bride and groom to perform a dance, so we enlisted the help of all of our friends who had travelled out to India with us. It is safe to say the skill levels varied massively but it definitely added to the fun and enjoyment of it all. For this, I wore a beautiful lehenga – an ankle-length skirt decorated in beautiful and intricate embroidery.

The next day began with the Gaye Holud, a ceremony that symbolises purification through the application of turmeric powder to the couple by close female members of the family. Before long, I was whisked off to get ready for the wedding reception. A man and his children did my hair and makeup. They spoke no English, I spoke no Bengali, and I had no idea what they were doing – a very different experience to our wedding in the UK, where I had a relaxed morning spent with my bridesmaids by my side.

I changed out of my simple yellow sari for the Gaye Holud into a traditional red and gold sari. In Indian culture, white symbolises mourning, so it is very unusual for a bride to wear white on her wedding day. Instead, red is the traditional colour of a bride’s ceremonial attire, often with gold details and jewellery incorporated into the outfit. Red is considered an auspicious colour in Hinduism, symbolising fertility, prosperity, new beginnings and love.

Avik’s mum had enlisted the help of her many cousins to source all my outfits for the wedding. I had my fittings around five days before the actual wedding, getting everything back within 24 hours. Luckily they fitted, and I loved them all.

The reception included traditional Indian rituals, including the bride’s father verbally giving his blessing and acceptance of the marriage, as well as calling down blessings from our ancestors. Watching my Dad repeat after the priest and try to speak Sanskrit is something I’ll never forget; think Joey from Friends attempting to learn French from Phoebe.

Along with my family, a group of our closest friends travelled from the UK to India. I got to show them all around Kolkata, which has become a very special place to me. Having them with us to share a crazy but wonderful experience definitely made it extra special.