Me & My Wedding: A Family Celebration In India

The Proposal

Nikhil tried to surprise me ten times but I kept guessing every time! In the end, the proposal happened when I least expected it – and it was perfect. Although he’d already had the blessing of our parents, he wanted it to be a surprise and an intimate moment just for the two of us. On the day he proposed, we were both in Mumbai and I’d had a couple of job offers, so he’d suggested going out to dinner at Masque to celebrate. I had no idea he’d booked the private space – there were two seats and lots of lights, and that’s when he proposed. I’m so happy it was on such a good day. I’ll never forget it now. Later, we did a Roka, a pre-wedding ceremony that marks the official start of a couple’s engagement, but we never had an official ‘engagement’ party. 

The Haldi & Shagun Night

Before the official three-day celebration got underway, we held a couple of traditional events at home. First, I had a haldi, which involves applying a turmeric paste to the bride’s skin. The ceremony is a time of celebration, cleansing and bonding with family and friends before the shagun night. I didn’t wear any make-up, and I also donated the sari I wore, which is a traditional thing to do. I only invited close friends and family, and it was very intimate. 

Similarly, the shagun night is an intimate event during which the groom’s side of the family comes to the bride’s home to give her gifts. It’s a bit like a blessing, in a way – lots of elders bless the couple before the actual wedding festivities begin. It’s a less formal night, and I decided to wear my mum’s wedding outfit, so the red still felt quite traditional. Our wedding fell during the same week as my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary, which felt really special. 

The ‘Engagement’ Party

This marked the first official day of our wedding celebrations. We wanted each event to reflect everything that has shaped us today, both in terms of our identity and experiences. As a couple, we’ve travelled quite a lot and I lived in London for about five years before I moved back to India, so it felt like the perfect time to celebrate our Western and Indian influences with a black-tie event. As I said, we didn’t have an engagement party, so this felt like the perfect way to kick off the celebrations – especially as many of our guests had flown into India for the wedding. 

I wanted as many outdoor venues as possible; I don’t love a ballroom. For this night we took over a local public space and decorated it to our taste, using Marigold Weddings. I walked down the aisle with my dad, and Nikhil walked down with his mum. Then, Nikhil and I exchanged rings. We also had a live singer perform Indian music before we moved on to a DJ later. One of my favourite things was the cake, which came from my favourite local bakery.

My friend Alyquane Blair made the dress. He’s a Central Saint Martins graduate and has worked with everyone from Balenciaga to Marc Jacobs. He created the whole look from start to finish, including the veil, which I later took off. It was important to me that I could wear everything I bought for my wedding again. My shoes came from Jimmy Choo and my jewellery came from local designers. It’s interesting – I’d say my jewellery came before any of my looks for the wedding. It’s a bigger investment, and the intention is for those pieces to be passed down the generations, so I wanted them to inspire the rest of my wedding wardrobe. Finally, I didn’t want to be too extra with my beauty look – my sister was actually a big help in crafting the vision because she’s worked backstage in the past, and I used Richa Matlani to bring it all to life.

The Mehndi & Jaago

The morning after our engagement party was nice and quiet – and then we had my mehndi ceremony at sunset. The pink dress I wore – made by Shakun Garg of Aakriti by Shakun – was quite traditional because it featured a kind of embroidery called phulkari that originated in the Punjab region. While phulkari is traditionally worn as a dupatta with a suit, we added a playful twist by designing a dress for my mehndi ceremony. The dress itself had a more modern silhouette, so I knew I would wear it again. My jewellery is quite traditional though – and my earrings are my grandmother’s. The pink threads in the earrings are also phulkari and interchangeable. My footwear is Punjabi, as are my hair clips. 

Because I’m Sikh, I also wanted to do a jaago night, a traditional event hosted between your mum and dad’s side of the family. It’s very folksy, with lots of music and dancing. That’s when I changed into the red look. We also hired Lok Rang Noor Art – a group of men who dress as women to come and entertain us, which is a traditional part of these nights – in many ways, groups like this are the only ones keeping this custom alive. It usually happens in a village environment, but because we all live in cities now, it isn’t as common anymore. They’ll get some banter going between your families, and then everyone will come together to dance. They also give you blessings – it’s so much fun.

The Wedding

The inspiration for my wedding day look came from a combination of princesses from Punjab and Hyderabad (where I grew up). It’s very Mughal-esque. Over the years, we’ve come to associate red with weddings, but I felt like there was something so elegant about this dusty-rose colour palette. I also knew the wedding was taking place outside. In the morning, the lakeside setting was going to be very serene. Many people use only particular designers for their wedding looks but for me, it was all about the work and embroidery. That’s why I wore my mum’s dress for the shagun night – the embroidery was done with real gold threads, which is why it’s lasted 30 years. 

Our ceremony was a blend of cultures – my husband is Hindu and we decided to have one religious ceremony instead of two. I walked in with my brother and male cousins – they were all wearing outfits in similar colours to my husband. My bridesmaids wore looks of their own but with matching headdresses with the same Phulkari embroidery. My husband’s mother put his kalgi (turban) on as Nikhil is an only child – typically, it would be a sister. We worked with the same designer again on his look, and everything was made bespoke for us in about five or six months. There are a lot of palm and beach motifs in his embroidery because we’re both beach babies. My custom lehenga was crafted from dull gold silk tissue from Benares and adorned with Zardozi, Dabka, Nakshi and Cut Dana hand embroidery. My headpiece was a more unique choice. Normally, people just wear the tikka without the rest of the headband, but I felt like it brought everything together. 

At the start of the day, we did have a milni – which is a bit like a pre-wedding blessing, and it also officially introduces both sides of the family. Other traditions we honoured included having my husband’s initials included in my henna, and then after the wedding, we played some games designed to tease the groom a bit.

The Reception

Our reception was a homage to my hometown, Hyderabad, with the décor inspired by its palaces. I really wanted to wear a trouser suit at some point, but I still made sure the whole thing was embroidered. I also wore ‘Navratan’ jewellery which is a Sanskrit word that means ‘nine gems’. It’s expected to have one Navratan set in your bridal collection. I chose to wear red because I wanted it to match my choora (bangles) – plus, I hadn’t worn red during the actual ceremony. I wore the cape when we made our entrance, but I later removed it. I know I’ll wear the suit again. My shoes are Dior and my hair accessories are Kavya Potluri.

The food that night was all Mughal in style and then we had Sufi artists performing qawalis followed by a DJ party. My husband did a surprise 45-minute set, which was the only thing I had no idea about. He played every song that has meant something to us during our relationship, which was cool because every track felt like a milestone. My husband and I also gave a speech together. It was the last day of the wedding, so everyone was leaving the next day and we wanted to thank them. We also made an active choice not to have any performances. Normally, people do choreographed dances and things like that but I’m not the biggest fan. Also, in Punjabi families, everyone wants to dance, so it would have been endless! We also didn’t use any stages or anything, but we did do entrances at most of our events – for this one, we came in as music played and everyone had sparklers.