An Indian wedding is not an event. It’s a festival with a guest list longer than the credits of a Christopher Nolan film and more drama than a Karan Johar climax. Here’s how each zodiac sign behaves once the dhol starts thumping.
Aries
– Found leading the baraat like it’s a personal Olympic event. Already sweating, dancing, and directing traffic. Might challenge the groom’s horse to a race.
Taurus
– Located precisely at the buffet. Not moving. Emotionally attached to the paneer tikka and spiritually bonded with the dessert table.
Gemini
– Talking to everyone like a wedding guest-turned-host. At one point, delivers a spontaneous toast and possibly flirts with both sides of the family.
Cancer
– Crying during the bidaai. Even if it’s a stranger’s wedding. Offers hugs like a Bollywood therapist and carries tissues like it’s part of the outfit.
Leo
– Believes the event is theirs. Outfit louder than the DJ. Struts like a Manish Malhotra muse and takes selfies as if Vogue is watching.
Virgo
– Organizing mehndi cones by shape. Ensuring the bride’s lehenga has symmetrical pleats. May or may not file a report over buffet mismanagement.
Libra
– Can’t pick between two outfits and ends up mixing both. Still looks like a Pinterest board. Lives for the pheras but mostly the photo ops.
Scorpio
– Eyes someone across the sangeet stage. Flirts without words. Probably writes a steamy wedding romance novel in their head mid-ceremony.
Sagittarius
– Has no clue who’s getting married but is dancing anyway. Somehow ends up in the family album and leaves with a new best friend from Chennai.
Capricorn
– Judging everything—from the DJ’s song choices to the mandap construction. Still contributes 11k in the envelope and offers career advice to the groom.
Aquarius
– Wears something nobody understands. Spotted near the chaat stall, explaining how marriage is a social construct. Mysteriously disappears before the reception.
Pisces
– Lost in the lights, colors, and feelings. Might mistake the wedding for a dream sequence. Posts a poetic reel later that makes everyone cry.
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.
